Oh hey there, fellow Dumbass friends 🙂
In my last story, Right Vs. Wrong, I wrote a little thing about giving my virginity away to a guy who didn’t deserve it. With that, I also made an immature and petty comment about his small dick. Oops, I did it again.
“But that’s immature, Levana”
“If we were 19 or 20, then it would be funny. But you’re 27.”
“You shouldn’t say that. You’re being petty.”
I guess what I’m trying to say is:
Lol I’m not even sorry.
I treat people how I want to be treated. With that – I’ll treat you exactly how you treat me.
So, you know, if you don’t care about my feelings then I won’t care about yours. It’s nothing personal, I’m just not Professor X.
I’d rather not waste my energy trying to decipher everyone’s needs and how they want to be treated. So, unless you tell me how you want to be treated…I’ll live by your actions.
Is that fair?
Fair or not, that’s just my understanding of forgiving, but never forgetting.
Like that person who shows up at a party and gives you no eye contact or greeting. I’m someone who values a polite greeting; But, I’ll forgive said person for the lack of – perhaps they’re someone who doesn’t value a polite greeting. However, I won’t forget that for the next time we meet. Which ultimately comes down to – I won’t look at you either.
That’s not me being spiteful – That’s me standing my ground and letting you know that I’m not trying to kiss your ass.
And for that high level of respect I have for actions – well, I guess if that’s petty, then I guess we’re all petty, no? Let’s be real – All guys have “pussy talk” and all girls have “dick talk” I just happened to have “dick talk” with my google doc.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning public humiliation towards other people either, especially if they’ve been nothing but respectful to you – That’s just bullying. But if someone has hurt you and shows they don’t care, why should you care about sparing their feelings when you’re speaking your mind?
You, #VirginThief, you’re probably not reading this, but if you are – Do you think I still care about you because I’m writing about you? You’re wrong.
When I cared, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to humiliate you. But I don’t care anymore, so I’m saying what I want regardless of how that makes you feel. I’m writing this because I care about myself enough to unleash my inner pains that you left me with after you took my virginity.
After you sexed me, you dumped me for that other girl. Even then, you still had me lingering around. I was your little bitch. You’d text her while you were with me. Did you copy and paste your sweet nothings to me to her too? Still, I chose to pretend I didn’t see it because you gave me false hope that we’d have another chance.
I had it all wrong. You should have been the one hoping for another chance with me. You were my first. I was so stupid. I was so vulnerable. And you used that to your advantage, you sick fuck.
Yes, it was years ago and I hope you’re a different person now. Because I am. I’m not a little bitch anymore. I’m that bitch who gives zero fucks.
And so what if it was years ago? Oh, I should get over it?
I guess, I’m sorry for caring about something so petty as my Virginity.
It wasn’t just my virginity you took. You took a piece of my sanity. You made me feel as though I was nothing – as if I had nothing special to offer the world. I gave you something that was special to me and you played me like a volleyball that you would volley and bump around. I was empty inside, so I always bounced back. And you had your “pervey” eyes on the girl standing on the other side of the net. Fuck her too.
I treated other guys, after you, like shit because I pretended that they were you. I couldn’t accept their kindness because I didn’t trust kind intentions. I couldn’t trust it because your kind intentions masked your real cruel intentions.
The #VirginThief showed me no signs of caring about what he did to me – so why should I care about what I want to say about him? #NoMoreFilters
I mean, what is so bad about ‘petty’ any ways? Everyone talks about how “the little things matter”, but when someone shows that something “little” matters to them, it’s suddenly ‘petty’? No wonder we’re always so confused. Everything is a damn contradiction these days.
Is it okay to feel like you’re above Poor Patty because she’s upset about something that’s little to you? – Just because you’ve been there and done that? Just because it’s something you’ve thought, but won’t say. Why can’t we see that Poor Patty isn’t being petty – Poor Patty is being upset.
We’re all allowed to be upset about whatever the fuck we want to be upset about.
So…Am I still petty?
So hey, I’m not sorry for discussing your baby dick. If I’m going to say sorry to anyone, it’s my Virginity.
I’m sorry that I waited this long to finally speak up and defend you. I got caught up in a world that doesn’t seem to care much about you these days. I’ve been a bad friend to you, but I want you to know that you matter to me.
Virginity, I’m sorry I gave you away to a guy who loved fucking me when I should have given you to a guy who fucking loves me.