Oh hey there!
Thanks for coming back to read me! Even after my “angry teenager” post My Petty Virginity, I felt that the next story should be about a subject on a lighter note! So, let’s get started, shall we?
You’ve heard it. I’ve heard it. This over said mantra –
“You need to love yourself before you can love another”
Blah blah blah. Tell me something new.
I mean, it’s no lie that loving yourself is super key. However, when you tell a generation of people who are going through the crisis of identity and reputation to “love yourself”, expect the result to be a generation of people who will just say they love themselves. In reality, we have no idea what that means. We don’t even know who we are!
I really wish I learned how to love myself in my earlier years. There’s just so many milestones to live in life and when you don’t know your own identity…It’s a bottleneck effect.
Life after your mid-twenties moves way too quickly. It’s like we’re all in a race that pretty much comes down to this:
- The race for success in one’s own career and self-growth.
- The race for marriage and a family.
And then there’s those who aren’t in the race at all. The ones on the sidelines who are either:
- Prepping for the race, but not really sure which lane they’re in.
- Feeling left behind while, bitterly, watching everyone else race and prep.
With life just racing by, I’ve noticed many others also feel these pressures of time. Who wouldn’t when they’re hearing a lot of this:
“I need to find someone to marry and have a family with!”
I guess most people I know are in the race for a family. Which is great, but what about those who are eagerly racing for a family and skipping the most important part – Meeting the right person.
Remember the early twenties? When we were all scared of meeting someone who didn’t love us, but loved the chase? A time when guys chased the pumpum and girls chased the
cock eggplant? Now, it seems as though everyone’s chasing the biological clock.
Yes, my dearies, welcome to the late-twenties! A world where we’re no longer worried about the chase – We must now be wary of the race.
There was a time when I was dating this guy and after a few months, he told me he didn’t want to be an old Dad and threw it in there that I had great hips…
How creepily forward, right? This guy basically told me that he didn’t care who I was. He just wanted to know if I was down to let him put a ring on it, open my legs, and pull out a baby.
In my early twenties, I never liked playing games and I thought to myself “Ok, just wait until we’re older and they’ll mature”. But now I’ve lost all hope in a healthy love life because every guy still wants one thing and it’s not my pumpum – It’s my eggs.
At the time, I was almost depressed from feeling really insecure and alone that I needed some love in my life. Unfortunately, the weed wasn’t doing it for me anymore.
Because of my inner issues, I was racing to find love and this guy happened to appear at the “perfect time”. Only it wasn’t the perfect time for love, it was the perfect time to mask my insecurities before falling into depression.
Since I was pretty into this guy, I was dumb and blinded by what he was really saying because I only heard what I wanted to hear. So, I told myself this:
“Oh wow, I mean, I’m not ready for this, but if this guy wants a family with me, that must mean he really cares about me. I guess this is what love must be like. I guess that means we’re in love!”
I look back now and think to myself, “Damn. How could I have been so dumb?” I’m actually so ashamed and embarrassed to admit those thoughts popped in my head, but what the hay, we’re all blind idiots sometimes, right!
I’m just so grateful that I managed to open my eyes and leave that mess. But what if I didn’t? I’d still be contouring my emotions of depression with empty words of love, while this “mans is” probably sticking needles through his packaged condoms.
An even scarier thought…What would become of the both of us after the fact? Phew! Thank goodness I’ve opened my eyes! Don’t worry, I’m keeping them open from now on and I hope you are too!
I imagine there are tons of people who have fallen victim to this trap…Those poor unfortunate souls.
I get it, everyone’s trying to find the right person. But how do you know that that “right” person you see, sees you and not a clock? And how do you know you’re not doing the same?
Many people don’t even know they’re racing. Just like that certain someone who has stank breath, but doesn’t know it. What if you’re the person who has bad breath and doesn’t even know it?!
It’s a scary epidemic and it’s spreading like a runny eggs benedict.
Sure, a runny eggs benny is great! But there’s nothing great about meeting a Benny or a Betty who tricks you into believing you’re “the one“, when really you’re just the fish that bit the hook. And if not you, there’ll always be other “fish in the sea”, so you were never really that special to begin with.
And it’s not that I’m in the race for family, myself right now. If you couldn’t tell from previous posts, I would say I fall under the race for career and self-growth.
What I’m trying to say is, as of right now, I’m more focused on when I’ll have time to buy a lightbulb to fix my car’s headlights. However, I’m worrying for the 35 year old me who’s still single and ends up with someone who’s been racing for so long that they’re just desperate for some water. And we all know what happens when someone has years of experience in anything they do – They get smarter…
Instead of planting a worm for the kill, they’ll start hooking you in with something so amazing like cheese…
And as much as I’m a sucker for cheese, I don’t want to be a sucker for a guy who talks amazing cheese, but is actually processed Cheez-Whiz – I want someone who’s real.
That’s why I’m going to end this one off by saying:
Love Know Yourself” – Because you can’t love yourself unless you know yourself.
If you know yourself, nobody can hook you in with their
bull shit cheez-whiz. You know what you deserve. You know what you want. And you’ll know what your definition of love is – Not that cheesy movie crap people emulate because they don’t know themselves either. If someone really knows and loves you for you, then their definition is your definition.